A Message From Lucas

Hello Everyone,

Megan has wanted me to update this blog for over a week now. I have, just in my head, probably over 100 times. The problem was, not one of the drafts felt like us. They contained way too much information about scans, tests, procedures, treatments, and more doctor's appointments than I care to remember.

So last night, I finally found the perfect ending to our story. It is us. Yesterday we started the process of hospice care. After the initial meeting, I was immediately relieved. We could finally get back to what we always wished for, always wanted, to be normal again. But what I couldn't tell, was how Megan felt about it.

See we have been fighting an uphill battle for over 13 months. Megan and I both knew it, there was little verbal conversation, we could see it in each other's eyes. This has led to a numb feeling that never leaves. Towards me she has been very distant, starting in November, when her health problems really started to increase.

Taking us back to last night. I was a little surprised. After I had helped her bathe and dressed her wounds. Megan asked me to hold her hand. So I did, it was amazing. I felt like we were back to where it all began, over 15 years ago. It was just us.

Thank you everyone, for everything you have done for us, we are now at peace.

Love always,

Lucas


* Please visit Megan's Rack Pack Facebook group for more information *

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Catch Up Time

 Wow has it really been a whole year, March 1st, 2013, since I started my first round of Chemo?!? Why yes it has! I have completed one round of Chemo, one round of Radiation, started my second round of Chemo (not completely finished with it yet) & an in my second week out of four of Radiation. What a whirl wind year but hey we are getting through this one phase at a time.
 I am not exactly sure how I feel about this last year of my life going through all of this. But I am hoping that I am a stronger person today than I was over a year ago & hoping to inspire at least one person throughout this journey. But I am not going to lie either I am ready for this to be over & behind us all!
 The only good thing that I can say has come out of this year of treatment has been losing my hair. It was very stressful actually having Lucas shave my head that day but I can't complain about my new beauty routine. I don't mind being bald but I still feel as though I need to wear a hat so I don't make anyone around me uncomfortable. I usually don't wear anything at home but when I go out I will wear my hat. I don't like the stares & random questions that I get when I go without. And I don't want anyone else to feel awkward either. It is nice to shower in less than 10 minutes. I mean it is crazy! A quick wash over my head & no shaving then all I have to do afterwards is lotion & put makeup on. It is very nice. I sort of know how it feels to be a guy. I will be excited though to see what my hair looks like when it finally decides to grow back in when this is all finished.
 I also met with my plastic surgeon this week. He informed me that I am probably looking at a lengthy surgery & recovery time for my wounds than what I was originally thinking. I thought it was going to be a minor skin graft & we would call it a day. He is saying that we are probably looking at either bringing skin/muscle from my back or belly region up to cover the areas. This is going to be more of a major surgery than I was thinking & the recovery time will be at least 2 weeks. So of course Lucas said my recovery time will be 4 weeks at minimum. This surgery will not be happening for quite awhile either. I have to be done with Radiation & Chemo & also have a good PET scan before he will do anything. Yuck I said! I was hoping to get this done & over with sooner but I guess I can't argue with the professionals.
 I had normal Radiation on Friday February 28th, 2014. I met with Dr. Givens afterwards like any other Friday. He asked his normal questions & then checked on my wounds & Radiated areas. He wasn't too happy with this new rash that I had & asked a nurse to come in & give her opinion. What was their consensus? Shingles!?!?!? What! Seriously aren't I too young for shingles I asked? I can't believe this one. I am beginning to think that Lucas is right, I am going to have every illness/ailment known to man before this is over with. I am in disbelief of this one. They put me on an antibiotic for 7 days 3 times a day. What fun that is. I just love taking pills!!! I had to call the girls Pediatrician to make sure they were up to date on their vaccinations. Reese has had 1 of hers & is due for her 2nd when she goes for her Kindergarten shots. Fiona hasn't had any because I was going through Chemo when they were going to give her the vaccination (since it is a live virus they didn't want her getting it at that time). The nurse said that they should be fine especially since it is around my left breast area & is constantly covered at all times. You have to physically touch the rash to get it. So lots of hand washing this weekend & for the next week but everyone around me should be fine. Thank goodness. Although it isn't the most pleasant of all things to have. It itches like crazy & is quite sore I am hoping to make it through this new ailment too.
 Two more weeks of Radiation to go. So let's hope they go smoothly!
 Thanks everyone for the continued thoughts, prayers & cards. I greatly appreciate them & hope that they continue to help me through this process.
Much Love,
Megan

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